Scared of Falling
by eachlittleword
Summary: Everyone will be broken at some point in their life and more often than not. It's going to hurt like hell, but at some point, when you have experienced everything you can, the words "life" and "risk" won't mean anything to you anymore.
1. Scared of Falling

**First of all** I really want to say that this is just a random 'thing' i decided to create and post, i'm stuck at home with a broken foot and unable to do any of the things i usually do so now i am constantly typing stories but never publish them, so, there you have it. If you don't like it please don't flame me, thanks. It's my boredom buster and i wont personally care. I may continue it, if i get enough reviews, if you haven't guessed already it's about Calleigh (because she's just that amazing).

_- Regards, eachlittleword_

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"It's my lab Rick, do i need to piss in a corner to mark it or ya gonna take my word for it?!" _she screamed and suddenly like a match to fuel every thought, feeling and emotion inside her had changed. All the thoughts and questions regarding the case that had arisen before he entered the room had disappeared from her mind and new questions started flooding into her mind, Who the hell did he think he was bloody talking to? Her entire body was fighting with her emotions, and for once her body wasn't the one with the upper hand. It scared her. She knew better, but she couldn't stop herself. She knows she has to be strong, independent, and keep it all inside. it's just hard when every now and then she gets weak and falls apart inside. Sometimes all she wants is for someone to see through her smile and realize that something is wrong and give her a hug for no reason even though they both secretly know she needed it more than anything. _

_She's so scared of falling because she's afraid that once she does, it's fight after fight to get back up. _

_It could take days, months or even years. She doesn''t know if she has that kind of strength anymore._

_She will lie that she is happy and she will try far too hard to not show her true emotions, even as everything painfully builds up inside. She has a journal under her bed which she uses to write the tales of each day, She has stains on the pages from her fallen tears. Every night she will go home alone, write in her journal and just lay on her bed screaming and throwing things around until her lungs hurt and she can't take it anymore, and right before she goes to sleep at night she prays, to herself, to god, to anyone who's listening - For she has so much to hide and so little trust in the world, because she has found out too soon that in the end, you are your own best friend. All the while she knows she's hurting herself but she constantly tells herself she only does it for the best._

_  
Rick noticed Horatio standing in the doorway to the lab and frowned. He muttered something under his breath with a deep sigh, which sounded to Calleigh, a little like "just watch your back" then stormed out the door_ pushing past anyone in his way.

"Calleigh"

"Busy" _she stated arrogantly without looking up from what she was doing, or not doing..._

"....And i'm your boss so i suggest you watch that tone Miss Duquesne"

There was a chilling silence before either of them spoke again

"Sorry Horatio, it's just... He's starting to get to me." _she grunted, sighed and looked at her watch._

_Horatio took his sunglasses off and stared at them in his hands for a moment, glanced at her and then to to the door to notice Eric passing. Motioning him to come into the room he then continued on..._

"But what you have to realize is that.... all he's doing is setting an impression, and a bad one at that"

_Looking once again at her boss she sighed. Maybe, just maybe she was experiencing a midlife crisis at the moment and envy for the fact that he didn't seem aware of it. But still he kept talking...._

"....Over time, certain things he says will no longer have an affect on you, trust me on that. Now i need you and Eric to go to the beach, while i go speak to Stetler. " _with that said he smiled, handed Calleigh a file, replaced his shades and turned to leave the room._

_Ah Eric, her best friend; the one who made her laugh when she didn't feel like smiling, the one who made her feel so secure when she was scared, and the one who she fell completely in love with._


	2. Maybe she should have cared

**Okay, i woke up this morning and wanted to run to the computer and delete the last chapter, I'm a coward, honestly i put myself down too much, but of course i had to hop in here, checked my emails and saw i had reviews, typically i panicked. Always thinking the worst i guess it's a flaw of mine. Thanks everyone because now i'm smiling from ear to ear (=****The reason i don't usually post stories is because i can't for the life of me ever finish them, i always end up leaving them hanging, just waiting for some miracle to come along and finish them for me, maybe i should have someone do that for me, team effort and all that, I'm okay with descriptions, summaries, but terrible with everything else. It's so amazing almost crazy actually.**

This chapter is a bit confusing but this info will hopefully prove to be at least a bit helpful, It's supposed to be later that night, after work. Calleigh is in a bar, pretty out of character i know, or is it? but everyone has two sides to them and everyone does stupid things on occasion. Now see, without this bar chapter the rest of the story wouldn't make any sense what-so-ever so alas it had to be done. (= I'm killing myself here trying to make this at least 2,000 words.

I'm sorry if it confuses the heck out of you but my pain meds have kicked in so please excuse any weird and silly mistakes. I'll fix them later if you point them out, thanks. It's mostly narration, sorry guys, i'm working on fixing that it just takes me forever, i'm more of a feeling/inside the heart person than a talker. Please help me finish this one before i shoot someone.

_Regards - eachlittleword_

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He thinks long and hard about the last words he spoke to her, the last time they were together, the last smile on her face, the last tear he saw fall down her cheeks - and that look, the look of absolute terror that streamed across her face. How that haunted him even now.

He gazed at her laying there and couldn't help but notice the painful torment in her eyes - in her heart. He could see through her and he knew that she felt it too. Eric so badly wanted to chase the pain away, to protect her from her own thoughts and fears, to make her smile again like she had done twenty minutes before it happened, about the same time he had let her go home in the taxi, alone in that taxi, alone, his feelings for her were in turmoil. Had he done the right thing leaving her like that? What was he thinking? He asked himself. Maybe if he had stayed it wouldn't have happened.

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**Earlier that night....**

"Uhm i have to go soon, sir"_ she managed to stammer before trying to catch the bartenders attention.  
_

"Sup, boy ahome waitin' tuck you in bed_?" His English wasn't very good, or at least it didn't appear to be, and it seemed to take a lot of effort for him to finish a sentence, could it be the beer? Either way that didn't really bother her. _

_She'd spent the entire morning trying half-heartedly to not punch Stetlers lights out at work out for talking too much...and near failed, so a little silence right now was no problem at all, in fact it was heavenly.._

"No, tired, need sleep." _She wasn't really lying, she was tired, tired of talking, even more tired of listening to him ramble on about his ex girlfriend who apparantly dumped him over thirty times this past month alone for the man next door, and it just so happens that she had decided long before now that she didn't need to talk to do what she had in mind anyway, and for that she was proud of proud of herself.  
_

"A see, need com'nee?"_ he stuttered before absent-mindedly tumbling off his stool near breaking it in the process. Chuckling slightly she sighed and rolled her eyes, a look of mock horror spread across his face and her only reply was an expression of perfect 'who-me?' innocence.  
_

_She hadn't even bothered to discover his name yet. Jamie? James, something with a J in it she was sure. Her hands clutched both sides of her empty wine glass, she sighed and looked at her watch. What the hell was she thinking!? She wasn't that type of girl. Or was she? She blinked with alcohol-poisoned thoughts and stood up shaking the red sticky liquid from her hands, looking at him, he kept talking, never once tried to get up off the floor, it amused her. He was encouraging those mixed thoughts that were floating around her head to bounce around her brain and give her a headache, or maybe that was the eight glasses of wine she had just poured down her neck..she didn't know, and she didn't even care. Her head hurt, she was thirsty for something other than alcohol. Confusion was setting in. She had to leave, and fast.  
_

"Uh, actually-"_ she managed to stammer before realising she was far too drunk to hold a coherent conversation. __Part of her wondered, looking at her watch again 12:54, maybe it wasn't too late to bolt and catch a taxi home. __He probably wouldn't notice anyway.  
_

_She also wondered if he only looked so damn hot because she was drunk, god knows what she'd do if she woke up next to him the morning after and he was... She couldn't even think about it, You know, she might be onto something here, but then it wouldn't feel just right leaving him here alone like this. Would it? I guess she was a little too afraid to test that other theory out just yet. _

_So with that said, the issue was raised. She had to bolt. And the truth was, and she had to laugh at herself for this, she just didn't want to be alone tonight. Or any night, really. _

"Hell's you're problem ma'am?" _the drunk snapped at her_,_ atleast she thought it was aimed at her but she couldn't quite tell since he was still rolling around clumsilly on the floor_.

_she held the angry retort that was on the tip of her tongue and sighed quietly_

"Already told you sir, tired, have another beer, just don't drown in it"

_She stood up passed him a fresh drink, threw him an apologetic smile and turned to leave  
_

_The drunk snorted dismissively and threw her a few rude remarks her way, she heard 'blonde whore' somehow disquised in his ranting.  
_

"Thanks"_ she smiled pleasantly __and staggered towards the exit of the bar. _

_Furiously the drunk attempted to stand shaking his fists in her direction, still muttering to himself he relented and sat back down grabbing yet another drink from the bar. In the doorway she heard Eric._

_She tripped and stumbled to the ground with a thud, hearing laughter echoing behind her, shaking her head she tried to stand again, mumbling incoherent words, reaching for anything to hold on to, she was drunk, no, she was more than just drunk, she was minutes away from a complete black out. Muttering to herself she caught someones hand and dragged herself to her feet without a care in the world, without even checking to see who it was, god knows it could have been a murderer and normally she'd care but not tonight. Tonight had been too diffcult for her to care. Maybe later she will come to see, she should have._

_"_This is not working in my favor at all" _she sighed, louder than she had originally planned to, she was remembering back to todays case, the last case of the day that Horatio sent her and Eric to work on, It was just too sad to see his little life end like that so suddenly. __He knew he made a mistake, she could see it in his eyes, but a mistake big enough to be punished by death at such a young age? It hurt, but only a fragment of the hurt was due to reason._ _Alexx used to tell her it makes it easier to pretend you can hear hear them thinking, "I never once gave up fighting" sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. She also told her that the pain is only there to remind you that you're only human. She needed something, someone, to forget._

"I think you've had too much to drink, Cal"_ and not only that, what was she doing drinking, in a bar nonetheless?_

"You know how it is. I don't want to-" _he cut her off before she could finish talking_

"Talk, i know, What the hell is your problem Cal?" _he was dumbfounded, why was she being like that with him?__ she stared back at him in dis-belief._

"You don't know what the problem is? Come on Eric, you knew about Stetler this morning and you did nothing"

_Eric raised his eyebrows and shook his head, Maybe she's trying a self-deprecating humor kinda thing? or maybe she's mad at him for reasons unknown to the naked eye.  
_

"I just don't get it, I can't blame you for being pissed at me, but i can't believe you of all people would treat me like an enemy"_ He's finally realising that i__t really is hard to find a reason for anything that woman does anymore._

_"_If you don't know what the problem is, just give yourself some time to find out....I'm going home"

"I don't have the right to poke into matters and ask anyway. I apologize, goodnight Calleigh" _he was furious, so with a tiny curse under his breath he turned to walk away from her, stopping only when he heard her speak again.  
_

"I just can't get my head around it. You know more about me than anyone i know, even people i have lived with over the past few years i've been in miami don't know half as much about me as you do, Yet here you are attacking me.... for being, me." _she smiled at him but it was a cold smile, a taxi pulled up beside her and she opened the passenger side door leaving him with some final words. She had to get out of there before she really lost her temper, or her mind. _

_He was speechless at that point, he just stood there and watched her climb into the taxi shutting the door with a a loud thud.__ Nobody could make him feel twelve years old again like Calleigh could. It was a talent of hers. Her eyes were harsh, but he knew she wasn't really angry with him, just frustrated.  
_

"Humans aren't always perfect Cal" _he mumbled, and let his forehead slam down hard against the concrete wall._ _He could feel the grain against his skin_. _'Stop the taxi, don't let her run away again, not again, no, not this time' He started thinking, his theory was she had become sentient, and liked to fuck with peoples emotions. She enjoyed games, and then she starts critisizing ONE little mistake. A mistake she probably knew of, but had already spent months looking for. Yes, that has to be it. And more than likely, The only reason she is even talking to him at all is because it allows her to forget about how pathetic her miserable life is. Too late, the taxi's gone. 'Damn it'_


	3. How come INCOMPLETE

**_Why is it that we always write stories that are truely naturally amazing compared to our own lives? I don't really know, __but i __like__ it. _**

**The reason for this is as i'm aware based on the attitude and emotions of the writers at the time of creation. In its simplest sense, most well written stories are founded on the ability of a writer to deal with stress and overcome it. To show avoidance of finishing a story because of whatever reason it may be, does not a good writer make, nor does it solve the inner problem.  
**

**I am well aware that this is a short chapter, i'm not on my computer because it doesn't work, I go for surgery tomorrow, my dog was stolen yesterday while i was in hospital, I don't know when i'll be home. I had to post this now so therefore it wouldn't be deleted before i get home again. Don't worry i refuse to die before i finish this story so don't worry about that. I'm just not really focussed enough to finish it considering my circumstances and the story theme. It will be updated and finished when i get back, whenever that may be. I didn't want to just leave you hanging in my absense. Enjoy.  
**

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_Ryan was sitting in the breakroom fiddling with papers when Eric walked in._

"What the hell took you so long?!"

"Sorry i'm late, got caught in traffic"

"Where's Cal and H?"

"H is... in his office..." _Ryan glanced down and shook his head. Eric's__ smile quickly evaporated from his face when he noticed.  
_

".........and Cal?

"Calleigh hasn't turned up yet"

_Ryan began to walk with Eric following suite, both silent all the way to their boss's office. Eric__ had a look of worry in his eye as he approached Horatio's office, tapping on the open door before deeming it safe to enter. _

_Looking over at his boss it didn't take a genious to work out something was terribly wrong. Horatio was stood beside the desk with a cup in hand, Smiling weakly, Eric walked towards him. _

"Calleigh is an hour late"

"Cal doesn't do late H"

"Her phone is switched off, no answer at home"

"I'm going over there H"

"I thought you would, go find her"

_Eric drove to Calleigh's place, temporarily forgetting what red lights were for, he didn't even bother to park his vehicle, Why should he waste precious time? Her door was open, her car was still parked up beside the road.__ Then it happened. Approaching the door he then walked in, never had he been more on guard, Eric's day was ruined, his day dreaming had to cease..It's official, she was missing and no one had made a move to help find her. He should have taken her home last night himself. He shouldn't have left her. He should have listened to his heart and not his head.  
_

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**Meanwhile;**

_The first thing she realized was that she couldn't move her legs. The fact that she was in so much pain from the neck down came second, but was nonetheless a startling revelation. Questions started flooding into her mind. Was she ok? Was she just lying there resting or had she been hit by a car? She didn't know. It was so dark she couldn't see anything but a dim light a few feet away from her._

_Suddenly she paused, from a little way off, she heard it, she heard him. Her head and shoulders hurting, aching. The light brightened and hurt her eyes as they tried to focus, A tall dark figure walked towards her and her heart seemed to thud - he looked at her, as if he could hear it. Could he actually hear her heart screaming with fear? at least now she knew she was in some kind of room... She was staring into space, the space where the man was, wondering what to do next. Wondering what he was going to do to her. But what could she do? she couldn't think, she couldn't move - she could barely breathe._

* * *

At this point, Eric was not only rising on angry, but he was scared as well, this was different though, he felt this fear growing inside him more than he had ever felt fear before. He wanted to rush ahead and find her fast, he wanted to personally kill the_ thing_ that knew where she was. But he couldn't, because he knew the best way to catch whoever did this was to stick to protocol, _Stick to protocol_.

Looking at the facts there is a single victim who was abducted from her home? Or maybe worse, there is a blood trail down the hall, murdered? Can't be because there isn't enough blood. If so, he knows the truth, he knows all the facts, he also knows that he will really only get one chance to perform a thorough, untainted search of the scene -- furniture will probably be moved, rain will more than likely wash away any evidence there may be in the outside area, stupid detectives like _Jake Berkley_ will touch things in subsequent searches, and evidence will be corrupted. Foul play. He also decided that it was so much easier to decrease the size of a crime scene than to increase it so he cornered off everything he could. He was also well aware that any evidence he recovers is of little value if it's not admissible in court. Don't screw this up Delko. _Don't screw this up_.

Blood spatter on the refridgerator, Broken vase on the kitchen floor, Food left on the table, the stereo on repeat, nice song, he never knew she liked that kind of music. And a note. Now that was severely out of place, Calleigh never left food on the table, she was meticulas about cleaning. She didn't like mess. She didn't need to leave herself notes - that was his flaw not hers. She never forget anything. The cruel _thing_that hurt her could be anywhere now, doing anything, his activities change with each passing second. Eric knew this. so with that knowledge in his head he walked around taking immediate note of details that will definately change with given time.

Then, picking up his cell phone he dialed a familiar number, A voice of reason, a voice of knowledge and a little bit of hope. He informs his boss of everything he found, everything he currently knows, who in turn arrives at the scene to help him search for evidence. After horatio arrives he too surveys the scene.

As it turs out - Eric missed something? But how? _How the hell could i miss something,_ he thought.

"Looks like he may have touched something. A bottle with a print, I'm going to take this to the lab and have it analyzed." picking up the bottle and placing it in an evidence bag, Horatio spoke again.

"Interesting....."

"What is it H?" Eric snapped out of his thoughts for a split second waiting for a reply from his boss.

"Used condom"

Sighing at the thought that Calleigh may have a partner he didn't know about he spoke.

"Detectives have begun witness interviews, hopefully they may offer details that point us in the right direction."

then he lost it, How the hell can he care about that kind of thing right now? WHY was he assuming she had a boyfriend when she could have been raped? Oh god no, he didn't know which he preffered, both ideas broke him to pieces. Calleigh with a boyfriend, i suppose he could live with that i mean it wouldn't be the first time she'd blatantly pushed him away. But raped, that's, that just wasn't right and couldn't be. Could it? Could she really? Snapping out of his thoughts once again when Horatio spoke.

"Eric, work on getting the phone records for me and remember you never can take too many photographs."

An hour and half later Eric absent-mindedly walked back into the lab eyeing suspiciously everyone that passed his way, In his mind everyone was a potential suspect. Friend or not, he was onto them.

"Eric, the prints came back"

"Calleigh's right?" Well it was her house so nothing suspicious there. Stupid to think they'd be anyone elses really. It was pretty funny though considering Calleigh doesn't drink lager. And it was a lager bottle, Calleigh was known as more of a wine girl.

"No, not Calleigh's...........Jake"

"Berkley?!?" Ah, Jake, he was a man who would always remain on the top of his _'potential suspect'_ list. Why does the man always end up having something to do with Calleigh, even though he's supposed to be out of her life!? He should have known he'd be involved. He hated Jake with a fiery passion.

"Indeed, the one and only, He's being questioned now"

Grinding his teeth, Eric sharply but quietly asked, he really didn't want to, it felt like prying into his best friends private life. It felt wrong, God knows he prayed he didn't have to. How would he sleep at night?

"And the.." shifting nervously he thanked the lord he didn't need to finish. It amazed him how his boss could read him like an open book, sometimes it could be scary too. But not this time.

"Still waiting for the results, go take a break i'll work on it, Don't worry we'll find her, you can count on it."

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to be continued...


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